Hi Splitimage - I am so sorry about your situation. My ex-husband left me and it was very traumatic for me - not right away, but eventually. I know that it hurts tremendously.

You write really well, by the way. You definitely have your head on straight - it's just hard to meld the mind and emotions, isn't it?

In your shoes (and this is NOT how I handled it myself, but would have, in retrospect) I wouldn't announce your decision, nor would I give a timeframe. I know that you're scared that you'll lose him, but HE needs to make the effort to make sure that doesn't happen, if that's what he wants. If you make yourself too available, then you'll never know if he wanted it on his own.

About him not being interested in your mental state... well, that's probably part depression and part guilt. If he's truly depressed, then dealing with someone else's emotions probably feels overwhelming for him. My ex-husband wasn't depressed, but he said time and time again that I needed to be careful what I told him because he doesn't like to be reminded of his guilt over what he did to me. Eventually, those statements made me very angry, because I realized how selfish he was being, and that was the end of ME wanting to maintain the friendship. So that's something to consider.

I do wish you the best and I hope that your heart heals quickly. My thoughts are with you...