I’m doing ok today. I feel kind of lonely. I think the last good Christmas I had was in 2018 when I got a letter on Christmas Eve saying my insurance was going to continue. It had been a big long process of filling out paperwork and getting my doctors and therapist to fill out stuff. When I got the letter on Christmas Eve I felt amazing. Also I had taken the 26th and 27th off work so there was no anxiety.

Last year I felt odd during Christmas time. I just had this really bad intuition all of sudden one night that this would be the last time things would be peaceful in the world for awhile. Also I was once again waiting on a letter this time from social security. And everything turned out ok again but the letter didn’t come this time until February 2020

This year I just feel lonely and like I don’t have the support I’d like. I was supposed to have a therapy appointment on the 22nd. I just feel bad and I am trying to just deal with this feeling of missing my therapist. It’s just tough. My family is coming up so I have that support. But I’m just not really feeling the Christmas spirit this year.