I don't quite understand this post, but the less you focus on what they have said and the more you focus on your own thoughts and perceptions of what happened, the better off you will be.

Abusers manipulate and lie. They try to alter your perception of reality. You have to stay true to what you think, to what you see, and to what you experience.

An abuser will try to throw you off track and will try to make you think that YOU were at fault somehow for their poor behavior and treatment towards you.

I called the police one night because my abusive husband was yelling at me (again). He then tried to justify his emotional affair that he had after that on the fact that I had called the police.

But there is NO justification for his affair. He KNEW it was the ONE thing he could do that would harm me the very most. And he did it anyways.

So I am not believing his version of what happened, I am not accepting his excuses or his justifications, and I am divorcing him as a result. This is just an example of how an abuser can seriously manipulate and try to distort your sense of reality.