I lived for 5 years alone and often crying by myself. I didn't feel loved either. I was completely obsessed with someone who didn't ever want to speak to me again and the last time we had spoken the most I could get him to admit to was he liked me, but he couldn't say he loved me. I dated a man for ten years and he said he "loved me but wasn't in love with me" These words hurt. But these men spent years of their lives with me, they called me beautiful and treated me with love (if you can call it that, but that's another post). These men thought I was sexy and so did other men. My mother and father love me and think I'm capable of treating them with respect. My grandmother was there for me and she loved me. My friends love me. My teachers loved how smart I was. So therefore, I'm a beautiful woman, who is smart and sexy, who respects her parents and is loved by her grandma and is a good friend. I went from being unloved and not good enough (which is exactly how I felt before I did this very exercise and I suggest you do it) to being good enough without exaggerating. Think of compliments people have given you. Think of anyone you have been around and have been kind to, the grocery store clerk can do the priest, anyone preferably in the present, but the past works too. and think about how you can be kind, and handsome or have lovable qualities everyone has at least one lovable quality.


Give it time. For me it took 5 years. It felt more like a lifetime. I learned how to be alone, I didn't need a book, I learned the hard way. Sometimes you just need to cry, so cry. Separate from her completely if you don't have kids with her. Go no contact, lose all her contact information and block her. I bet everyone is telling you what is best for you, but you're scared to do it. Faith is the hard part and deciding what to do is hard when you're stressed. Just don't die okay. Don't do anything stupid. You sound upset and I remember exactly how I felt when I was in your shoes. Just hold on and everything is going to be okay. Eventually I accepted I was going to be alone and I was happy, truly happy with all sorts of friends. I was pushing guys away. Then suddenly my boyfriend appeared and now I'm happy and for once someone loves me and I love him back. You just have to have faith and hope. Take care!