Thanks again. Which part of the post was unclear to you if you don't mind saying?

I do not consciously focus on what they said... these messages seem to have been absorbed subconsciously. That's what makes undoing all this hard.

And yes I do have my own thoughts and perceptions but this thing is subconscious so that gets tricky.

And yeah, you summed that up well about what abusers/toxic people do. It's actually pretty absurd "reasonings" they use - like your husband did it - but in my case it was emotional and personal messages in their "reasonings" and I couldn't consciously deal with it.

And you are very right with divorcing him, if he can't even take responsibility for such a major thing and BLAMING YOU for it!! Wow so yeah, these two toxic vampires did that too.