Quote:
Originally Posted by Alive99
Thanks again. Which part of the post was unclear to you if you don't mind saying?
I do not consciously focus on what they said... these messages seem to have been absorbed subconsciously. That's what makes undoing all this hard.
And yes I do have my own thoughts and perceptions but this thing is subconscious so that gets tricky.
And yeah, you summed that up well about what abusers/toxic people do. It's actually pretty absurd "reasonings" they use - like your husband did it - but in my case it was emotional and personal messages in their "reasonings" and I couldn't consciously deal with it.
And you are very right with divorcing him, if he can't even take responsibility for such a major thing and BLAMING YOU for it!! Wow so yeah, these two toxic vampires did that too.
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I guess I didn't understand what you meant by compulsive checking? Checking up on them, or more of a mental process for yourself?
It sounds like you partially accepted their blame towards you, and perhaps that's why you still struggle with it?