I have been alone for 19 years after divorce. The reason I stayed so long, was the fear of being alone.......You are not unloveable....no one is; those are lies we have been told by cruel people. Talking to friends, joining a group, volunteering....all are good ways to help with lonliness...there are so many lonely people in the world. ....so many feeling as you do. Visiting a nursing home is a wonderful thing...of course with Covid...we can't do that.Keeping a journal is helpful also. Don't allow another person to define who you are. YOU get to do that.