Hmmm wouldn’t that be cool if we published a novel? “Overseas teachers with BP” something like that. It takes me longer to come up with ideas when non manic! When I went manic I didn’t even know I wasn’t sleeping. But I was writing non stop! Now I think my writing makes a lot more sense though. I’ve re-read so many things I write and wow, just wow! So maybe my ideas are actually better non manic too! I’m not exactly sure when I went from too manic to just hypomania either.... I also don’t know how long I had psychosis. I only remember it being really bad when I smoked the weed and I thought I was the Flash and could control time and the weather. I thought it was some really powerful weed!!

Aww my daughter rarely takes naps anymore. She did take one yesterday in my arms, but I can’t lay her down for a nap anymore, she prefers staying awake all day but can get cranky too! How’s his stomach doing? Do they have chicken pox shots there? Ok this is another weird connection... I was in 2nd grade when I got chicken pox so I would have been 7 too! I don’t remember what time of the year but I know I stayed home from school for about 2 weeks with my little brother and sister!

It’s crazy how much technology has changed since we’ve been alive and we aren’t that old!! I don’t remember the brand of my first phone, but I remember it was a flip phone, silver, and had a hard antenna on the side. It might have been Nokia, but after that I always bout Samsung, then blackberry, then mtouch briefly then finally apple... I think my first was the 4 or 5. Wow I only ever saw those brick phones in movies.

Yes that’s the hard part about this disorder... how do we ever know what normal is when we go through a mood? Like in the past I would say adrenaline would be why I got angry or that it would increase because of a situation. Now I feel like if I get angry it’s not normal, it’s my disorder. I don’t remember if it was during the beginning of my mania or not but I kicked 2 holes in the wall in my daughters bedroom because I was mad about something I can’t even remember and my husband was following me around the house trying to get me to talk and I told him to leave me alone. I cried in my daughters room and he followed me there, kept talking and I kept telling him to leave. He was trying to give me my daughter who was 1 at the time. He finally left the room and closed the door. All of this rage came out of me and I kicked the wall like a child!! I still can’t remember why I was mad to begin with!! So I know that wasn’t normal but any amount of anger is going to be hard to tell if it’s ok or not.

Hmmm with your daughter there is typical teenage stuff but usually if there is a cause... like why would she have a reason to act out? Does she have a bad home life? Is she getting enough attention? Is she dating someone? It could be the friends, but usually kids flock to other kids like that if they already have issues. If there isn’t a good reason for her to act out, it could be more. I know parents do not want to think the worst, but it will be good to get her help. I know if I felt like this as a teenager I may not have wanted to exist anymore, and that is the last thing anyone wants to happen to their child!! I wasn’t an angel as a teen either but my reason was I had too many responsibilities and my mom was never there for me. My parents were divorced and it was always hard to talk to my dad.

Wow your health care system does sound so much better than ours!! I paid 1,000 just to my doctor and that’s with insurance. I thought that was the final payment until the hospital bills come through. Anyone that goes into the room has to get paid. I think it was close to 4,000. We didn’t pay all of it though... we still get bills, it got sent to collection. Lol I think we did have ruffles on our curtains. We had a nice private room with a super cheap gift. Like some cup and cheap robe and slippers.

When is your sons birthday? My daughters is July 10. We sorta potty train her but only ask if she wants to go, mostly it’s no. Sometimes she poops on the potty and rarely pees. I don’t thinned she’s completely ready. I know it’s been a long time for this!! She also has a bed but only sleeps with us, she’s not ready to sleep on her own either. I also don’t think I am!

That’s sad about your dad and your parents marriage! I had this strange thought that it could be me and my husband one day. He quit drinking and then decided to have one beer per month for the last couple of years.... but when I went to the hospital he started drinking more. I couldn’t tell him not to because at the time I was trying to divorce him.... I was always the one that had the biggest positive influence on him. He even quit smoking because of me!! So now he drinks 2 tall beers everyday and on the weekend at least a 6 pack. Although I did buy him 2 to try to make him happy and it made him angry instead. He said not to buy his vices. Anyway I don’t want to be in a miserable marriage for the rest of my life. I don’t know if it will ever improve or that’s what I have to look forward to. I can see why your parents don’t want to separate because they’ve been together so long.

That’s good that you are on patches and trying to quit. My husband smoked starting around 12 years old till he was 31 I think. He slowly stopped smoking as much, ate jolly ranchers every time he wanted one and finally stopped. I told him I didn’t want to date anyone who smoked and that helped inspire him. I know you can do it too!

What’s work cover? I’m so glad too that you didn’t lose your job! But it sounds like there was a reason you reacted and the person that needed to lose their job did!!

Yes I think my husband did in the past but then started saying “what do you want me to do about it.” He said he was tired of me bringing it up. Oh yea I think Covid and lockdown had a huge part to play... that’s when I went manic for the first time ever! Did you say anything else besides invading your personal space? I think he would really need to read between the lines to know what you meant.

My daughter is now awake so I’ll need to reply to the rest later. Chat soon!