I HATE that Mothers' Day is coming up because it just reminds me that you are gone. It has been 2 months on the 6th and it feels like yesterday.
I can go visit you at Dad's since your ashes are in your room, but -I need you in person.
-I need you to remind me that I am going to be ok.
-I need you to tell me again that you believe about my abuse even if no one else does.
-I need you to advise me on what to do in regards to my current BF situation.
-I need you to be here for my sisters, nieces, nephews, great-nephew and dad.
-I need you to tell me that you love me again.
-I miss you so very much and I just don't know how to grieve your loss as I try to view it as a vacation and you will come back.
-I need to see you healthy again because the only image I have left is of when you passed in the hospital and how bad you looked. -I need a good image.....I can't get one!!!
The pictures of you, don't look like you...not the you I remember.
-I don't want to get married or have children since you cannot be here to experience them with me.
-I need you, mommy....I really really need you....
-My heart is aching for you....it hurts, mommy....I am only 33 and should not have had to watch you battle cancer for the last 10 years. I WAS ROBBED of getting to know you better. You were only 55 and 5 months TO THE DAY! What are the odds???
I am grateful of the time I did have, but I don't think any amount of time with you would have been enough.

I love you and I hope that Mothers' Day goes by quick......cuz I am having a hard time with it already.


Love your "favorite" daughter (I don't care what my sisters' say! )
BJ