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Originally Posted by Have Hope
Sometimes people can turn codependent within an abusive relationship dynamic, even if they haven't been codependent before.
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Yeah, pretty much like that. I was definitely NOT being myself at all.
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Abusers are master manipulators -- they will create that fog for you on purpose. They want you to doubt your perception of reality, they want you to doubt yourself and their goal is control and have power over you.
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Yes. I've understood that intellectually a while ago. That this is what was going on. It's just hard to REALLY take it in if that makes sense. I tried this evening and it's like, it felt it was gonna be overwhelming literally my whole body so it's yeah not gonna be easy to go through this (I did back off when I got this perception of it)
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The key is to not let them make you doubt yourself OR your perceptions of reality. If you journal all that they did to you, you will see it all as manipulation, both subtle and overt. It takes having an independent mind and a strong mind to keep your own reality in view and to not let their arguments or perspectives sway you. Abusers' perspectives are ALWAYS skewed.
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I understand all that intellectually on a generic level. It's just really hard to really see what they exactly did even if I described the concrete details or read the texts, skype talks, etc. It only comes to me over time. It's slow like molasses.
If I could just take it in fully or something and see what exactly the manipulation steps were then I would not keep losing my normal sense of reality about all this ??