Hello again. I just looked at the time stamp. Your messages come through around 2:00am my time! It's 7:46am Monday morning here. 3:47pm your time I think .... I always have to remember time zones when contacting my folks / parents. Years back there was the odd time when my sister randomly woke me up at some ungodly hour in the night because she hadn't checked the time. Grrrrr. She's a midwife so she works strange hours so she'll sometimes ring me on her way back from work. I keep in contact with them on WhatsApp because at least it's free. Years back - I'm thinking around 2006 - I lived in Glasgow Scotland for a year and back in those days before WhatsApp and anyone had Skype I remember having to go to the postoffice there and buying a 20 pound card that only lasted a few minutes just to say hi to them. I totally hated living in Scotland. The weather was awful and my kids were so little. Could barely take them outside to play in the park. Not my fondest memory of teaching either. They barely recognised my teaching degree and had me on a graduate's salary. I was doing temp work a day here or there but I had to put my daughter in daycare incase I got a phone call at 7:00am to be at a school somewhere. So even on days when I wasn't out working somewhere I still had to pay the daycare. We barely made any money. Worst decision ever.

So you write when manic? I've heard a few people do that actually. Oh I just kept emailing the principal a bunch of crap omg how embarrassing. Not sure if I mentioned back in an earlier thread that he has mental health issues too and sees a psychologist. Not sure if that makes my situation a bit better but damn I wish I didn't have the diagnosis. Lol so Flash and you could control the weather. Well that's an awesome thought in theory! Most of my psychosis was dark .... like really dark thoughts. Although I guess the ones I had about God sending me special messages is kind of funny - ONLY in hindsight! Which is always the better view. You must have had some pretty potent weed although ... even if it wasn't potent it's going to do that to us. I remember smoking it once with my ex and I started having visual hallucinations. I also became extremely paranoid. I think paranoia even if not on weed is a huge factor for me. I had paranoia in 2015 that people were chasing me. Wasn't cool. I remember jumping in my car one day just to get away from "them". Makes no sense now but made total sense back then!

Man my son was difficult yesterday. He fell asleep on the couch for about 30 minutes. He loves his afternoon naps but I think he is coming down with something. My partner dropped him at daycare this morning and I'm half expecting a phone call from them to come and pick him up. I'll ring them a bit later on to see how he is doing. He's extremely hyperactive and is constantly on the go and generally loves daycare so I'll probably be sending him for half days. At least he gets to paint / draw etc. He was very crabby this morning when he woke up and wasn't impressed again when I put him down to sleep last night. Yeah I'm pretty sure one of the immunisations here at a young age is chicken pox. The spots subsided a few hours later so I'm really not sure what on earth it was. Can't believe you had chicken pox around the same age. My worst fear is him getting chicken pox and me having to take time off work. That will be all my leave gone. I'm usually the one that takes time off work when he gets sick.

So you're an apple fan too? I think my first apple may have been the 4 or 5. Not sure what I've got now. Think it's the X or XR. I usually get a new one every 2 years or so. I'm debating if I should just keep this one for a little while longer. My son plays with a few nursery apps on my phone. He loves the counting and number ones. He's super bright for his age and he certainly doesn't get it from me or my partner! He could identify all the letters of the alphabet by 15 months old. He counts to 20 and can count backwards from 20 to 0. His daycare ran out of options so now he can count from 1-10 in Greek and Spanish. Although he's moving to a new room next year and I wonder if the teachers in the new room will continue on with it.

I'd love to know the neuroscience behind psychosis and anger. All I know is that it's a "chemical imbalance" but like of WHAT? How many chemicals does our brain need to actually stay in synch. The way I think of psychosis it's like when you have a nightmare and you wake up and straight away you realise phew that was a dream it wasn't real. Psychosis is like having a nightmare but you're wide awake. There's just a part of your brain that's completely not working. The only person I get angry with now is my partner. And I can see how your partner following you around would annoy you. Sometimes when I was at my worst I just needed space and even if I asked him to go away from me he would still follow me around. When I felt myself about to go into a fit of rage with him I'd jump into my car, go to the store and buy milk since I couldn't think of anything else to buy! One week we had clocked up so much milk in our fridge I'm not sure what we even did with it all. I recognise that my anger is not normal. Most days I'm pretty chill but I remember when I was coming down from my mania a lot of things were still making me angry that wouldn't necessarily make me angry if my mood was stable. It's like there were some residual chemicals running around in my brain that weren't quite balanced out yet.

My daughter changed a lot after our divorce. She never really settled. She totally accepts it (I think). But there was a lot of arguing between my ex husband and I before he finally moved out. I know that's really bad to do in front of kids but it was one of the lowest points in my life. She's just never been the same since. One thing that pains me to say is that she actually has quite a good relationship with my ex husband's wife. She'll tell her things that she won't even tell me sometimes. Yes that does upset me, but I think I'd rather have her talk to someone than to no-one - especially if it's an adult. The worst still was the night when she left the house aka ran away and we couldn't find her until 4:00am. And I don't think her smoking weed helped either. I really wish my folks were here. They don't even know about her episodes. I just feel they have so much on their plates and there's nothing they can do being so far away. When we divorced it really upset my mother and there were so many times when she would say she wishes she was here to help me. They don't even know about my psychosis. I was always posting "happy posts" on facebook when I was manic. Although I do remember having a long rambling conversation with her on WhatsApp but fortunately I was in quite a good mood that day telling her what a lovely mother she was ha and I think she was quite happy with that.

At least you got a gift from your hospital but wow the price is insane. I think that would be about what you'd pay in a private hospital here. Did you go natural (I hate that term actually it makes any other kind of birth seem unnatural) or did you have a csection? I remember being so out of it when my son was born. I hadn't eaten since midnight the night before and I was feeling so nauseous I wanted to vomit in theatre. That night when I had him the epidural had worn off and I felt like I was being stabbed with a bunch of hot knives. Was not cool at all. I did actually land up throwing up all over my partner that night just before he left!

My son's birthday is 7 December. He was due on Christmas Day. With my eldest 2 I had csections. My 21 year old (almost 21 in February) was an emergency csection so I had an elective csection with my daughter. With my 2 year old I started going into labour somewhere between the evening of 6 December and early morning of 7 December. Contractions weren't bad at all but they didn't want me to go into labour for too long so he landed up being delivered at 11:47am that same day. My daughter was at the hospital with us and she desperately wanted to be in theatre with us but it was one support partner so she had to wait in the waiting room. I'll never forget the look on her face when I was wheeled out with him. She had the biggest smile on her face ever. My ex husband and his wife had a baby this year on 5 December. I'm really glad it wasn't on my sons birthday other wise every birthday moving forward my daughter would have to choose which birthday party she would want to be at.

That's really good that your daughter has started potty training. I can't believe it's taken me this long to give it some serious consideration. I meant to remind my partner to speak to daycare about it this morning but I completely forgot.

That's really good that your partner quit smoking because of you. My partner can't stand me smoking but he's come to realise the only person that can make me stop right now is me. Longest I've gone without a cigarette has been about 6 weeks. Dumbest thing I ever did was light up again, but I guess anyone whose quit and done that would say the same thing. What are jolly ranchers? Sounds like some kind of biscuit (cookie).

Work cover is basically if you have an injury (physical or mental) that is as a direct result of something that happened in the work place, and if you need time off, you still get paid. I really can't remember how much time I had off. Everything is just a blur. I know it was a week here, 2 weeks there etc but it's hard for me to sequence what the hell happened this year and for how long. Nothing I recall seems to be in any kind of order.

When I wrote to the principal and said this was invading my personal space I was writing to him about the entire situation with the ex principal. You're right it might seem a long stretch for him to put the pieces together, I'm not sure. He used to be an English teacher before he became principal so he might be used to reading between written lines!

Okay catch up with you later.