Dear Miguel'smom,
I'm so sorry you are in a dark spot. I wish I knew what to say that would throw some light on the situation you describe. It can be difficult to know whether to continue or stop therapy. I don't know about others, but I generally do not make helpful choices when I am in a low mood. Perhaps this is a peculiarity of mine. I do hope that you will find the light you seek so that you can make a decision that will lead to the very best outcome for you. The best choice might be to continue therapy or the best choice might be to stop it. I have no idea which is best. You seem like a very heroic person to me and I am so sorry that I am unable to be helpful. Hopefully others here will prove more helpful to you. I wish you only the very best.
Sincerely yours, Yao Wen