I'm getting glimpses of my former self. Then I come back to feeling sad again. This is such a roller coaster ride. I woke up this morning with sadness in my heart again.

Telling him I don't love him anymore has a note of finality to it.

I feel like I've been talking to a brick wall for the last month. He's not listening to me. Even when I tell him he broke my heart into a gazillion pieces, he thinks it can be fixed. Even though I tell him he's lost my trust completely - he says it can all be fixed. I tell him it's over, and he says you don't want to try. He's NOT listening to me at all, and it's infuriating.

The other day he told me that I am punishing him. In another breath, he said he wants to come home. So, he thinks that he's kicked out of the house temporarily and that I will invite him back in at some point after he's been punished enough?

He's also downplaying his affair repeatedly to me by saying "nothing happened". Even when I tell him he's done the ONE thing that would hurt me the very most. He's not listening!!!!!

So I finally just came out with it - I don't love you anymore. Maybe that will hit him with a 2 by 4 that it's really over.