It this time and i know that it`s sort of MY problem...in a way.

I feel rejected when basically i may not be,
Like when i come to eat my breakfast adn my roomate is sitting near the table eating hers and when i start makign tea i just came she takes whatever and leaves.

Maybe it`s not what she means. Or sometimes i speak and she doesn`t say anything in return althoguht here again. Many times i tlak really quietly so maybe it`s impossible to hear.

I don`t know

I guess it`s an early thgouth which turned into an illusive feeling that people don`t want my company. That in fact i am rediculous, throw unwanted...yeha especially rediculous. It`s no fun thinkking that about myself,.

But I don`t really believe it to be completely true.
I know it`s when i came to this county i was a new immigrant and not all kinds wanted to play with me. I came to israel when i was 6 years old. Now i am 23. and i guess it turns our to be suboncious....but only when i don`t consider THIS feeling or whatever rediculous. Like in my head i know that reasonably ui have no reason to be sure. and to believe in that and to pay it much attention.

But I see there is something beyond that ...and this is what i am here for...i hope i won`t take things like that for all my life...