Hello Suzy! i'm kinda new around here. Have posted on this thread kinda recently and just read your posts here today. Just want to let you know that my prayers are with you as you struggle to get back on topside again.
Also would like to say that i hope you're getting meds straightened out and that you like your T and therapy is going well/helping you.
Your experience with Geodon and falling asleep at the wheel sounds so scary and i'm very glad you're ok. we ( all of i's parts, collectively) have been down the geodon path too and not only was it extremely sedating, it also upset our stomach something awful. i finally told my pdoc that we refused to take the geodon anymore because i hate that La La Feeling. i don't know that being always drugged up is the answer to treating/preventing my manic episodes and/or my other symptoms. we realize that we do need some meds; just not some of the ridicuously high does that these doc's call :therapuetic".
we've also had several suicide attempts but i now have an extra incentive to try not to go there anymore. My hubby's ex DID commit suicide with an overdose of drugs and alcohol and i definitely do not want to put him thru anything like that again, no matter how bad we feel inside. it would be moe than he could bear and him being hurt so bad again because of me would be something that i definitely do not want to do. This new perspective has really had a profound impact on me. - it motivates us to do whatever is necessary to protect me from myself and doing something stupid during distressed times.
I agree with you 100% that life is too short to let it pass by while i'm in la land because of all these wicked meds they have out nowadays. i want to be aware of my surroundings and what's gong on in the world around me.
i hope that your life leads you back to the road of peace, joy and happiness very, very soon. we're always just a PM away if you ever have the need. God Bless, beadlady29