The point of my post is that I think I am initiating and being proactive and trying to meet people in the middle, but I feel I have to reach all the way and must keep doing this all the time. I don't mind changing my approach and keep trying from time to time, but I have issues with changing who I am to please others, or to be fake just to get things. It seems to me this is the way the world works, and the world is full of "pleasers", and I am greatly troubled by this. For example, in my last job, employees were trying to please the manager to get promoted ... etc. Our societies are designed in a way that contradicts our nature: we humans are equalitarian species, and being in a hierarchal structure with less social status is very detrimental to our well-being. I hate it, and I guess others hate it, too, but they go with it to get what they want/need, and reach new social and power heights by pleasing the powerful, so that others start asking for their approval. Is this smart and I am being stupid? Maybe.