I'm so sorry that happened to you, Fluffy Dinosaur. In situations like that I get caught up in a feeling of powerlessness and ruminate on the situation for month - MONTHS! It turns into a a constant companion of sickening depression and hopelessness, and I do not recommend.

I can fully appreciate why you'd feel the need for a violent expression of anger to feel satisfied - but yeah anything "not allowed" is not going to have a good outcome.

I think for me, the only thing that can work- because writing about a situation in which I am powerless like that ...a situation in which I've asked help from those whose job it is to help me and I've been f**ked over in response- only leads to more rumination and frustration- Is to strongly state to myself: " Thank goodness I'm not the sort of person who would respond to a person in need by screwing them over" at least I have that, and integrety is a lot. Thank ***** I have kindness and integrity, unlike those who wronged me. It gives me back my power.

I hope that is helpful. I'm sorry, I know I have terrible writing skills, but I hope it made sense.