Thank you for sharing your experience on here. I am so sorry you are going through that, it must be exhausting.

I experience this so much in my relationships, even at work with my boss, I kept thinking "if I just give a little more effort, she will see how hard I am working and give me a break" NO, she didn't, she just expected more out of me and was harsher toward me...Needless to say I didn't last more than 1 1/2 years at that job. I still catch myself wondering if it was my fault that I couldn't take the pressure, but I had heard so many things from coworkers about her and that I just needed to stand up to her. I wish I had taken their advice and trusted myself. Now I try to set boundaries with myself at work, do not stay after hours, be straight forward with my boss. I used to obsess over everything and had to do everything perfectly at work, but I'm trying to prioritize better and set realistic goals.

I really struggle to not blame myself for my messy family relationships. I try to remember that usually I am only half of the problem, and I am working on being more self-aware and learning where I need to improve my communication skills. Sometimes its not anyone's fault, its just that we have different views or miscommunications...Sometimes my family is being dysfunctional and they don't know how to be better. Its a constant struggle and it is exhausting.