This can be a challenge when you love your partner but your partner is not physically capable of engaging in the sexual part of the relationship. This challenge can happen with both males and females as for some women it can be painful and some men simply become impudent with age. It sounds like you are not looking for another person to love, that area in your relationship is fine. Yet, you would like to be able to experience sexual satisfaction. It's not a crime or a sin to self satisfy, people do that all the time. IMHO, if a partner can't engage in this then it not really cheating to find a way to experience this by self satisfying and I don't even think it needs to be discussed as long as you are not actually with someone else.