I took tomorrow off from group. I was honest with my case manager. And she was super cool and said since it’s a holiday it’s ok to take the day off. I just feel bad because I do want to spend it with my family. And I don’t feel good right now either. But I’ve had christmas messed up a few times because something happened the day before a break. Mainly it was work related stuff. So I just didn’t want anything bad to happen tomorrow and mess things up. But I’m just assuming something bad will happen and I kind of feel like I’m avoiding and doing the opposite of what they are teaching me. Having a good Christmas is a huge deal to me. I feel guilty even though she said it was fine. My Pdoc still has not called even though he said he would when I called yesterday after he cancelled. I’m lying in bed with the blinds closed and my weighted blankets on and I have a couple sensory things with me and if he calls I could be in dangerous territory because I look awful right now.