I haven't read every post above, so forgive me if I show lack of knowledge about something you've shared. It does sound like you need out of this marriage. While the emotional aspects of having your dreams destroyed are naturally dominating your thoughts, you need to focus on the financial implications of pursuing divorce. If there are serious assets owned jointly by your husband and you - like a home - you need to protect your financial interests. That means get a lawyer right now.

Besides assets, you need to concern yourself with liabilities. Since your husband is dishonest, conned a cashier at a store about a price and used your money in the past to buy cocaine, you need to worry about him using credit to run up debts you might have joint responsibility for.

These financial concerns may not be uppermost in your mind, but you need to give them the most serious attention. Until you get competent legal advice, you should tell your husband nothing about your plans.