Hello all. First time posting. Apologize if I ramble,, I’m kind of a mess. My ex wife and I separated back in April, and signed official papers 2 weeks ago . We had some problems over the last few years, but were still generally happy(at least I was). Most our problems were financially related. She has done very well for herself over the years, working her way to a pretty high position at a local hospital at 34. I drove a beer truck up until last Oct when the closed our branch and I was laid off. We lived pretty modestly, not a lot of vacations...no boat, RV, Atvs, etc. yet we never could save money. I let her handle the finances, mainly cause she made more money...and I trusted her. Our last argument in April ended in her telling me she didn’t want to work on it. She hadn’t been affectionate with me in years..and blamed her job. I was devastated. I wanted to fight for her, go to her work and serenade her. Anything I could..but I knew deep down it wouldn’t matter. She wanted to just print off divorce papers and file cheap. I found out shortly after that she had run up over 20k in credit card debt. Cards I didn’t even know about, and never used...yet had been helping pay since they came out of our joint account..and she felt she did nothing wrong. When I realized the situation I was in, dead broke with nothing..while she had the house, the dogs, all our stuff..and wasn’t willing to split any of it. I lawyered up and sought some restitution. Part of her 401k, child support, whatever was in the table. That enraged her, so we stopped communicating other than arranging time with kids.

2 months later she dropped our youngest off to go “see some friends out west” for a week. I knew right away it was Prbly a guy. And against my better judgment, I got on her Facebook and snooped(I know, I regret it daily). Not only was there a guy, there were dozens of nude pics. The wife I couldn’t get to hold my hand, was sending this guy she’d known maybe weeks these pics. It leveled me. I learned what the meaning of depression was that day. It took me 2 months to even get back to work.

This week has been hard cause xmas was our holiday. We used to go all out. I had heard threw my youngest mom had a new “friend” the last month or so. This was a local guy, not the west coast booty call guy. I have now heard in the past week from 2 mutual friends of ours that it’s Facebook official.

We are 8 months since I moved out. She reveled in her single life, then jumped to this..incorporating a new man(and his kids) into my kids lives’. All the while I struggle every day,. She is constantly on my mind, still. I don’t sleep well..I don’t eat well. My kids are all that keep me afloat. I’ve read a lot. I know there’s a process. I know it’ll get better.. I know the holidays don’t help, nor has Covid and its ill effects.. but I have had a pit in my stomach for months. It dominates my life. I get emotional 3-4 times a day. How do I move on from something I miss so bad.? What is my life going to be now? This dominates my life, daily. I never thought I’d be single at 43, and see the love of my life move on so easily...and be so happy.