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Old Dec 24, 2020, 06:19 AM
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Have Hope Have Hope is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,729
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie123 View Post
I was married for 31 years to an abuser, so I understand your feelings. Abusers are excruciatingly insecure, and don't care what you say or think....The best thing you can do, is to stop responding when you hear abuse, and I know how difficult that is to do; abusers NEED you to constantly respond to their abuse; they are emotional vampires. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life and helped me immensely....to go forward and get the divorce. Do everything to keep yourself safe; become aware of the money issues, etc. See an attorney (first visit usually free); just to see where you stand, etc. If you are able, talking to a therapist can be most valuable.
Thank you @Marie123.

I actually blocked his number the other day after he continued to gaslight me.

Then I had to unblock him because email was proving to be too slow for communication. But it did the trick in the moment - it shut him up and stopped the conversation from continuing and it stopped him from continuing to gaslight and abuse me.

I have told one attorney that I will hire him. I am waiting for his retention agreement and invoice so I can pay him and move forward.

I do have a therapist and an abuse advocate helping me through this rough period.
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"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Thanks for this!
Rose76