I am SO up and down. I had a really good day on Tue, then Wed I was back down in the rabbit hole again. Today (Thurs) I feel better already. When I drink too much, I feel far worse the next day - full of anxiety and missing him. I know I know..... the logical answer is STOP DRINKING so much!

My neighbors were very sweet and left me a Christmas present at my door. They know that we are going through a divorce. I was SO touched by this gesture.

AND, I am catching up on the phone with all my old friends.... I've now spoken with all my old college girlfriends... it is SO great to reconnect during this time, and not just because I am going through a divorce, but also because of covid, etc.

I met up with a new-ish friend yesterday at a local greenhouse to help him pick out plants for his adorable wife. Now they have the kind of love I aspire to. He knows of my husband and says that he's a very good actor, putting on the nice guy routine. He also told me that I am a good actor too, because he never would have known what was going on behind the scenes. So I had to explain that my husband and I always had fun together while we were out at parties or out for music, and that the abuse always happened at home and behind closed doors. He seems to believe me though. He was very sweet to invite me to help him Christmas shop.

So today I want to have a good day. My husband plans on coming over tonight again, and I will again, be at my parents' home and will vacate the property. It's good for me that I have not physically seen him in several weeks now. It's helping me tremendously.