"weve know how to manage doing that just fine all by ourselves long before we graduated from high school."

Who is we? Not me, but I would love to meet the "we". I'm serious. I grew up strict catholic. Masturbation was sinful. Don't do it. My mother slapped my hand. The boys I talked to growing up said the same. PIV sex was the only acceptable way to enjoy sex. Solo sex was frowned upon. With masturbation comes guilt and shame. I find that with mutual masturbation, including a sex partner is some way, it helps me to a "happy ending". Now I'm trying to reprogram my brain to do it alone or find a sex partner arrangement my wife would consent to. Both options are under investigation.