"So the question is in what religion masturbation is a sin but extramarital sex isn’t?" Islam, but I'm Christian which is another complication. But I have heard it from several dependable sources that if the wife agrees to it, it is not cheating and considered "extramarital". Some people believe watching porn is sinful too. There are many beliefs and opinions. I try not to judge others. I'm trying to respect my wife's judgment and moral values without agreeing to things that lead me to an untenable situation and divorce. Most people say leave the marriage if I want sex and my wife refuses to take care of my sexual needs. Leaving the marriage is not an option for me. I love my wife and I'm looking for ways to work things out.