What is it you really want from us? The only person whose opinion matters in this is your wife's. A lot of what you say sounds like a lot of double-speak. You can't masturbate but you can have sex with someone you're not married to, for religious reasons. You cite a lot of inaccurate "interpretations" of other religions. Can you explain why your wife no longer wants to engage in sex with you? Have you gone to couples counseling?

What has your wife said exactly about you having sex with other women? She didn't like you sexting other women, so I doubt she will be open to cyber sex. This whole thing is very confusing, and I get the impression you are trying to frame extramarital sex as something other than cheating to ease your conscious. But that's just how it's coming off to me. I don't say that to accuse you, but to make you aware that you're coming off that way and maybe there's something to look at there. Why can't you get a divorce?