"Can you explain why your wife no longer wants to engage in sex with you?" She lost sexual desire after menopause. She never found sex to be satisfying. She is bitter from me cheating on her.

It may sound like double speak, but this is the way my sexual desire currently works. I'm in therapy and working on changing it. Sex "by myself" is only marginally satisfying. Sex with another, with a "partner in crime" is more enjoyable. I think it has something to to with oxytocin, the "cuddle hormone". Sex alone brings dopamine. Sex with another adds oxytocin. Making that connection is more satisfying.

"What has your wife said exactly about you having sex with other women?"
She equates cybersex as sex with other women. She said, No. Unacceptable. It's cheating.

"you are trying to frame extramarital sex as something other than cheating to ease your conscious."

Yes, if you are not poly friendly and open to ethical non-monogamy it would sound confusing. Some people, including my wife, consider cyber sex to be extramarital sex and cheating. However, if my wife accepts cyber sex as a reasonable alternative to total sexual abstinence then it would ease my conscience and would not be considered cheating. Married people have some latitude in setting the ethical boundaries of their marriages. Societal norms are evolving.

"Why can't you get a divorce?"
I'm a sucker for unconditional love. I would rather give up sex for life than give up on my marriage. A friend of mine has prostate cancer and with the prostate removal he ended up with impotence and incontinence. My brother-in-law has prostate cancer and he's dealing with impotence. They are both still married. I want to stay married without giving up sex for life. Cyber sex is actually a compromise position for me. Giving up sex IRL was the first major sacrifice I made several years ago with the hope of saving my marriage.