There is nothing confusing and I don’t see a single person on here confused about anything. It’s nothing to do with us being this or that. We are not the ones married to you. For it to not be cheating and be ethical, both partners have to agree. She does not agree. Trying to convince us that she must agree will not make her agree to it

She is “bitter” about you cheating? Interesting choice of word. You really don’t sound like you love your wife as much as you say you do. You won’t masturbate even though it would be acceptable for her, as it’s acceptable by most people on this planet. Yet you insist on sex with strangers despite the fact she is against it. What kind of love is that

Also cyber sex with strangers, or any sex with strangers is not polyamory at all. It’s just that, sex with strangers.

Pretty much you want what you want as you said d it yourself you preoccupied with cybersex/addicted to cybersex and want us snd your wife to give you a permission.

This has nothing to do with your wife not having sex because you wanted extramarital sex while she was still sexually active.

Why anonymous sex with strangers is more satisfying than human connection (not sex, just connection with people) for you? Are you having trouble connecting with people in real life?

Work with a therapist on the roots of the problem.