I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I harbor a lot of frustration, anger & hate as well. (A lot, but not all of it, at myself.) In fact my own frustration, anger & hate (along with a couple of physiological things I have going on) led me to re-contact my previous pdoc a while back and go back on Clonazapam. (Not suggesting you should do that.) Beyond that the only other things that help me are keeping busy & the Buddhist practice of "compassionate abiding". Here's a link to a mental-health-oriented description of the practice I often offer members here on PC:

Relieve Distress By Allowing It: Compassionate Abiding 101 | Mindset: Perspective Is Everything

Best wishes...