Today is weird - Christmas day. He and I were supposed to go out for a nice meal today. I have not written him back since his pity party text yesterday. I never replied to him. And I did not wish him a merry Christmas today - why would I? He hasn't written to me either today. This is all just very surreal.

I don't know how I feel today. Kinda bummed, kinda sad and kinda down, but not hugely. I had a nice time with my family today/this morning.

Now I am home alone again and the house feels so empty. Except my little tiny Christmas tree brightens up the living room.

Maybe I feel hollow? Yes, I feel rather hollow. No joy for me today.

I did celebrate last night with some wine, some of my own music, and a long call to a close girlfriend. That was fun at least.