Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope
One of my close girlfriends says I am just as responsible for allowing the abuse.
I feel very victim blamed!
I see my mistakes and fault in all of this -- but to say that I allowed this? I take umbrage to that. She is one to beat herself up more than I do in life - she is beating herself up right now for not living up to her own expectations of herself in life.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
I need my friends, but sometimes I don't feel like processing this with them anymore.
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Unfortunately some of my friends did that too. (They are no longer my friends... as I couldn't and wouldn't take that from them back then.)
But it's really just they don't get it. No experience with it. And have their own baggage clouding it all too as you yourself noted yeah
Actually I think it means that it's too much for your friends as it is. I didn't realise that back then unfortunately. But at least yeah your friend doesn't seem like she meant to attack you in some personal way if that's just plain her belief about these things and beats herself up too just like that.
So maybe yeah keep all the processing/talking for those who understand what you're going through. Seems like extra unnecessary stress is added otherwise. That's ofc trivial to say ...but you said you need your friends, but maybe for the time being you need only the therapist or whoever is actually able to give you the support. That to me took so long to understand that everyone can just give their own way of support in these hard situations, regardless of what you'd need from them