You know that movie with Kate Hudson, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days?

I feel like I am the woman in that movie who did everything wrong and so she lost her man. Only this time, I didn't lose him, I did everything wrong and I kept him.

My girlfriend's words towards me are haunting me now: YOU ALLOWED IT.

He told me he was in love with me within or in less than TWO WEEKS of dating. RED FLAG.
In less than ONE MONTH, he wanted to marry me. RED FLAG.
He wanted to move in together SO QUICKLY. Though we both needed a place to live. STILL, ANOTHER RED FLAG.
He spoke very poorly of his ex wife to me, even though he was with her for 14 years - he said nothing positive about her - RED FLAG.

UGH - soooooo many red flags. I let them all go. I allowed him to cross my boundaries early on too.

But my friend's words that I allowed the abuse - NOT OKAY. I want to address this with her.

I allowed the red flags to slip by. I allowed him to cross my boundaries early on. I allowed him to hold me down in bed, because I wanted to avoid his anger and a rageful blowup. But I did NOT ALLOW the abuse. I protested all the way through against it. I stood up to him, every single time.

It really angers me that my friend said I allowed it. More projections. She had married an abuser many years ago. She says SHE allowed his abuse.