I wonder if your friend doesn’t mean that you caused this to happen. I think she maybe wants you to heal by accepting some responsibility. It puts you in a power seat and out of a victim’s seat and might would expedite healing process?

I don’t think she wants you to be responsible for how terrible he is. But when we accept responsibility, we are powerful and we make better choices in the future. It works for me.

Could you ask her what she meant.

It’s hard to know what is the right thing to tell someone and what help people need. Maybe she thought that would help you to move on to know that “hey you don’t have to do certain things in relationships and do things that unhealthy men want or expect and you will never do them again because you aren’t a victim anymore.”.

Could there be anything positive in her message? Just because you keep meeting men want you to pay their way, you don’t have to give them money. Just because they want you to do drugs, you don’t have to. Just because they have no place to live, you don’t have to live with them, in fact you should avoid such men. These messages make you strong and powerful I personally experience such message as positive in my own life. Otherwise I would be in danger in repeating the cycle again and again. Of course we are all different.

Your friend might think she is helpful . If it’s not helpful at the moment then I’d ignore her message or tell her it’s not helpful . You tell on here when we aren’t helpful. It’s ok. You cAn do that irl