So if the person is self absorbed and selfish and uses others and is not trustworthy and they tell you that is what they need to improve, you’d consider dating them?

I’d say that if they are the kind of person lacking empathy and being liars or cheaters, you should not consider dating them regardless if they know what is wrong with them. At the very least they should fix themselves before they go on a date. I mean if they need to improve something manageable and not profound like have better time management skills etc then sure. But if they need to change their personality on such profound and deep level, why would you date them?

If someone is messed up in middle age, that’s who they are. Sure they might improve. But why do you need to stick around?