I am going through a process.... a major process. I am forgiving those who have abused me. I wrote my ex fiance saying "I forgive you. That's all. Take care." and I wrote another prior abuser with the same exact message.

Call me stupid or crazy for reaching out to these a-holes again, but I honestly feel better after having done so.

My girlfriend just pointed out to me what my ex fiance will think as a result of me reaching out to him again, and I was like - what the f do I care what HE thinks??? This was for ME and only for ME. It's for MY healing process... do I really care what his reaction will be to that? NO. I really do not care. I did it so that I can finally let go of all the pain that he caused, that i've been holding onto for YEARS. And who cares if he doesn't respond! I don't. Who cares!

She was pointing out all the possible negatives of what I've done, when I felt it was a very positive step. GEEZ!!!!!!

I love my friends DEARLY, but I am learning where they each falter in being a good friend to me through this process. I DO need them - very much so - through my divorce. But I can see where each of them fail me, in one way or another - not entirely, just faltering.