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Originally Posted by Alive99
Yes. No one friend - and no one therapist even - will be able to COMPLETELY "be there" for you, without "failing", being perfect. That's just humanly NOT possible. Focus on what they can each give you and only ask for that, not more.
I did decide myself that I had to be very selective about what I share about my traumas/abuse and with whom. Because it can prevent or obstruct the healing process too if it's done too unselectively. Or at least adds too much unnecessary stress.
(In my case the friends I dropped, they were also trying to attack me, instead of being able to reflect that they were just annoyed or something. That is why I dropped them. Please don't get that far with your friends. But for me it did help me see that some of them were fairweather friends anyway lol)
BTW I have no idea how you've been able to do the forgiveness to let go of pain O_o That's interesting to me...
I did try once to see what need the guy that did the spiritual and emotional abuse to me was tryin to satisfy and it did give a certain mental peace to me, seeing that, but was far from enough to help me let go of all the pain
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Yes, you are correct! No one friend is perfect and no one friend will be able to fully give me all that I need.
You made a very wise statement here that I bolded - oh so true!!!! I am now going to be more discerning and selective about what I share with whom. This girlfriend in particular is NOT good at processing the trauma or abuse I experienced. So I will not share anymore with her in that regard.
I had prayed to receive healing from all the abuse I've suffered - and what I got or heard intuitively was that I needed to pursue the act of forgiveness. And I can tell you that since sending those emails to my former abusers, I have felt lighter, happier and more at peace. I have found compassion and grace, vs. anger, pain and anguish over what they did to me. So I chose compassion and forgiveness and I have now let go of that pain that they caused. I feel far better for having done so. Now, does that mean I recommend the same for you in your situation? Meaning, reaching out to them again to forgive them? Perhaps so.... or perhaps you can forgive them in your heart and mind only. But I do think and believe that the act of forgiveness - full forgiveness - allows us to finally release the pain of the past.