I had to just take an Ativan. A little while ago, I apologized for my behavior towards Hubby today. I was rough. Truth is I am overwhelmed by all of this and want normalcy back, but it's a long time in the coming. I felt a bit ill today in various ways. When I start experiencing a lot of gastrointestinal distress (heartburn, indigestion, acid reflux) I know I am pushing too far. Then my heart raises and that scares me. Hubby is in a somewhat similar state, but has the added burden of doing all of the driving.

I am very sensitive when it comes to my diet. I just have to eat healthful food at least half of the time. Eating as I have only does me harm. I almost wish I could just eat vegetables, whole grains, and lean meat again. Instead, it has all mostly been junk food. I almost cried that we had little access to any better, this evening. I miss my cooking, desperately! Not just for healthful eating, but because of my husband's garlic allergy. Yesterday I deep down wanted to barge into the restaurant's kitchen and make my husband's meal myself. Believe me that I would have done 10 times of a better job. Chefs in restaurants? No, most of them are just line cooks.

Sorry to vent. Doing so makes me feel slightly better.