It sounds to me like he wants to do whatever makes him happy. The reason he is super nice when he sees you is probably because he’s horny. Even when a man is unhappy in their current situation, when hormones kick in and sex is desired it is hard wired within a man to use the currency a woman responds to in order to get what is wanted. Man wants sex, man emotionally nurtures the woman. It’s one of the saddest yet most effective way to “get what you want” from the fairer sex. I’ve watched so many of my own friends do it. So if you want your husbands true feelings, offer communication and willingness to counsel but leave sex off the table at first. Then you can see what his priority or angle is when he’s being nice. Good luck and I pray for comfort for you during this struggle.