Day started out alright and went downhill from there. By the time work was over, I was in tears. Again. I feel completely crap about myself. I can't do anything right. I get completely overwhelmed which only seems to exasperate everyone around me. Like I choose it. When it started to spin out of control, I even asked for help. Nope. It's kind of hard sometimes not to think people *want* me to fail. I'm definitely the "whipping boy". It just gets really hard to take. I just have to pretend like it's all alright. No room for weakness. I'm too disposable for that, and there's no one to fall back on.

I asked for re-referral to psych a few months ago (they don't just keep you in it, yeah, weird). It's been approved for some time, and what do I do? Nothing. I feel SO stuck. Like, what's the point? I suck.

I'm really trying.

TG I'm only on for 4 days then off for 3 again. I'm exhausted.

Thanks for listening.