I could email you, and i know you'd reply tomorrow, but i'm still upset and annoyed about the MH service being so utterly useless. I feel like i need to have a good rant about it, but you're on holiday and there's nothing you can do to fix it so what would be the point? Especially when you'd probably reply with something that sounds supportive to you but doesn't feel supportive to me. And then i'd feel worse.

Perhaps I'll leave it and see if you check in first. You probably will given i haven't emailed in five days. Or maybe you'll think i don't want any contact and leave me alone and that really will feel awful. And i'll still have to decide if i'm going to email you or not.

Ugh. Hate when i get into this kind of headspace. I just wanted a bit of help to sift through this triggered flashbacky stuff and figure out how to contain some of it while you're away. Can't do it via 'phone or text - my brain doesn't process that way - which is why we asked for face to face support. They say they're there to help so why won't they help me? I don't want to have to get to crisis point before i can get any help.

PTSD is shite. this time of year is shite. unhelpful MH service is shite. ho bl**dy ho.