I’m sorry to hear this, I wouldn’t have suggested AA meetings anyway because while they probably have helped a lot of people, I’m not sure they’re the best place to get help. My dad went a few times, always had the same outcome but maybe that was more him than them.
Anyway, you are going through tough times and acknowledge this isn’t a good long term coping mechanism, I’m wondering if there’s anything else that might help you that you haven’t tried yet? Admittedly I don’t know what else you’ve done, but it’s something to think about.
You will get through this, though!