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2 years ago I experienced the worst manic episode I've ever had. As a result, I viciously verbally attacked both my cousin and my daughter. I hadn't communicated with my cousin since then. My daughter stopped communicating with me. Yesterday, it came through someone else that my cousin had wished me a happy birthday. I've taken a big chance and messaged her on Facebook. I've explained to her that I have bipolar disorder, etc., etc.
She's the first person in my extended family that I've told about my BD. I'm trying not to stress myself too much about it, but I hope she'll accept my apology.
Last night I had a wonderful talk with my son. He sounds so whole, so healthy. There are times when it slams into me, how much BD has impacted my life (in addition to childhood abuse). My kids are so normal.
It's hard to have to hide myself, hoping that I won't, at some point, lose control and frighten and alienate someone else.
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