Those are good points azure.

It’s good and important be vulnerable and express how we we truly feel with loved ones. But when relationship is over and when the other person is self absorbed and perhaps narcissistic, being vulnerable with them serves no purpose except gives them more ammunition

It does not mean you shouldn’t express how hurt you are. In therapy, with friends and family, on forums etc Just not with the abuser especially if it’s over. Being vulnerable with them is not needed.

Now of course it’s easier said than done