Well I will have to blunt answering “what’s this about”. No it’s not about being nice. Nice is good. It’s about quality of men you are going for. They act like this because that’s who they are. Low class. What classy men barge in women’s houses, take their clothes off and climb into their beds? Trash. Not quality men. And quite dangerous to boot. Sorry. It doesn’t matter if you are nice or not. That’s who they are. Not partner material at all

Also POF is mostly hook up site. Some young folks might meet there for something more serious (I heard of young people actually find relationships) but a 40-50-year old guy and still on POF it means he is there to hook up. So when they see you there, they think you are there for the same thing. They don’t think anything particularly deep

They think:. “I am horny” “woman is on there so she is available to hook up, let me write to her”.

Dating is hard. I agree. But you got to be more selective. I am glad you look at deal breakers and end with them. But you don’t need to even start with them. Just go on few dates in a neutral territory. No sex. No making out.

They don’t need to know where you live. And during covid why they even show up? Dangerous.

Keep your distance until you know them well enough to know if they are even safe to be around and if they are boyfriend material

PS it’s quite backwards to claim that some men are jerks because of how women behave with them. Nah. When man is an *****, that’s who he is. And nice decent high class men don’t behave like jerks no matter if a woman was nice or not. If she isn’t to his liking he won’t stick around and politely end it. He won’t act like an idiot.

And classy men don’t stalk women because women are “too nice”. When you increase quality of men you go on dates with (slow down getting to know them and end it before it even starts), you’ll see that nice high quality men remain that way no matter what. Your behavior does not make them into inappropriate jerks at all. They were that way way before they met you