Quote:
Originally Posted by AzulOscuro
Much better if you go to a friend’s house. In the end, I don’t know a lot about liquors, I don’t know you...In a house there’s usually a lot of things to talk about. Souvenirs from travels, pictures of people...
No, lol! I’m not sociable at all. I’m introvert. It takes a bunch of time for me to feel comfortable with someone else. And even though, I need time on my own to recharge my energy. You noticed that I’m polite and I sometimes seem normal but it’s because I can talk about this topics. Most of the time I feel like a fish out of water. And when I was active, and had to deal with a group of coworkers, it was a hell. Your thread reminded me those occasions when I felt so out of place within a group of people.
But, please, don’t give it up. I still have my goal to achieve in what socialisation regards. And I ensure you that you can grow up a lot in this sense and that I know how you feel. There are a lot of important things in a person apart from knowing how to socialise. You can have a rich life, even when this aspect will be always a struggle. You will have good moments and you even gonna taste them more deeply than normal people do.
Yes, I suffer physical symptoms as you. Sometimes I swear a lot, some times my movements are clumsy. Sometimes an uncomfortable tic appears on my eye. Sweaty hands, and the worst, my heart beats so fast that I think I’m gonna have a stroke.
What I do at these moments if I can’t avoid the situation is to take a break to breath deeply.
Do you think relaxation techniques could help you?
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The last time I was at my grandparents house during christmas I tried to focus on my breathing and to look for any tension in my muscles but it was hard to focus on anything in that moment.
My brain was so fuzzy that I couldn't even follow the conversation at all. This was the first time I talked to other people outside of my friend group again since corona started.
I know of this muscle tension thingy(sry, forgot what its name was) but never find time to actually do the excercises for it. My day is already packed with so many things.
Do you know of one that I could easily apply during a conversation without appearing wierd?
University is much the same. My first semester was at the beginning of the corona restrictions which isn't that bad because now I don't have to worry about making friends or making conversation with other students. But at the same time it is bad for me. I really need the "training" and the certain amount of time being around people or else my anxiety is up again in no time.
I mean, I live with my brother but it is not the same as with living someone outside of the family so yeah.
I know that there is usually more to a person than being able to socialise but having a connection with someone or a good social life is actually the thing that makes me most happy.
It is not like I don't have any other interests or can't be on my own. It is just frustrating for me to feel a bit isolated and different from others. I never really found people I could connect with without changing my whole behaviour or self. So many friendships I have now are pretty hollow. Or were toxic. Had a few of those relationships too.
And on the other side I still got to learn to accept myself and figure myself out.
Until I was 20 y/o I did not have any goal in life because of depressive episodes and anxiety since I was 7 y/o. So I got a lot of catching up to do and a lot of work on self esteem.