First post here. I'm feeling pretty desperate. Please help if you have kind words or advice.

I'm a male. So this is only coming from a male's perspective.

I'm on my second marriage. 3 Kids with first. 2 Kids with second. ages range from 21 to 1. Yes you read that correctly. I started over.

Where to start. I feel that my wife doesn't take into account my feelings ever. Our biggest arguments spawn around sex. Actually our only arguments are around sex. I feel like I want/need more for the intimacy. She always has excuses. And I know... I know. Well sometimes in a marriage one of the spouses just doesn't feel like it. And it can be caused by (insert the 99 different reasons here). I'm not new to this. But the problem/question is. Is this my fault when I get grumpy and or angry sometimes when I don't get sex? The hard part is I know I shouldn't be angry, but I still get angry. And here's the thing. I'm getting angry cause of all the excuses she makes she's not trying to fix them. I'm only supposed to fix my anger issues. Isn't sex in a marriage part of it? Now I know the next thing always said. It's not the only part, and what are you doing to ensure you are creating a loving environment. Welp, lets see. I compliment her morning noon and night. I spend time with her away from our kids. I.E. when the girls go to bed I stay up with her and we do things together as a couple. I buy her things. I cook. I clean. I change dirty diapers. I work. I shop. I do laundry. I'm a fantastic dad to my kids. I cry in front of her. I protect her. I take care of my health (which is declining, but that's another thread). I work on myself. I pray with her. We read bible verses together. I even suggested lets take at very least once a week once the girls are in bed to have a date night. We eat less at dinner than we cook a really nice fancy dinner just her and I. And eat by candle light. I help pick out her clothes for her some mornings. I give her massages every now and then and DON'T make it sexual. I rub her feet. Heck I even gave her a sponge bath last week. I cry in front of her.
So as you can see, I feel like I'm a pretty good husband. And I'm a pretty good dad. But when it comes to the sex part of our relationship... that is what I feel we are uneven on. I get it after having 2 kids your hormones change. Or you are tired. 2 kids that are 2 and 1 are exhausting. But I don't feel like cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, reading bible verses every day, praying every day. Taking out the garbage. Giving massages. But I do it because serving my spouse and my family is part of being a husband/dad. And once my health started to decline. (diagnosed 2 months ago with fibromyalgia) I took it real serious and started working on it. I exercise more. I take supplements. Heck I even take apple cider vinegar (made by the devil himself) now just to see if it helps. But my wife won't take her lack of sexual desire as an issue and to be honest keeps calling it my issue. I.E. I'm a sex addict if I want sex more than once every two weeks. And of course when we first met the sex was great. bla bla bla. I'm the millionth customer to win that prize. And I know I'm the millionth customer to win the prize of having a spouse who doesn't want to have sex anymore.

So here's the question. How do I cope??? 3 night ago I said I'm gonna need sex, I can feel it. I'm gonna be grumpy if I don't. And she looked at me, turned her head and kept on doing what she was doing. Is it my problem? Should I seek professional help to tell me all the things I already know? Which I have now more than once. Should I ignore it? Should I get a divorce? Should I just try and figure out how not to have that desire? Should I stop doing everything for her and the family? Should I just wait?

Yesterday was the culmination of a huge fight. (fighting is not yelling and screaming in my house) And she was doing things behind my back being sneaky. So I checked her and found out she was packing. She said I'm going with the girls to meet her friend in another state. I said over my dead body you are taking the girls and I said if you do I'll call the police. So she called the police and said to them I was being demeaning and wasn't letting her leave with my girls. So the police came and I sat like a good little dog while being watched while she packed and left. I did not and have not ever threatened her. I have never laid a hand on her. But now I fully understand what I am to her. I'm nothing more than a dog. I mean we love our dogs, we protect them. We care for them. But at the end of the day they are still dogs to us. And I truly feel like I am one to her. And I sure as heck feel like I'm being treated as such.

So that's it for now. If anybody has been in this situation. Or can provide help. I sure would appreciate it. Because at this point my only option is divorce. I can't go on being someone's dog.

Thank you.