Hi everyone,

I'm new here and wishing you all love and happiness.

Married for 12.5 years, together for 15.5, we had happy family, all the way until we moved away to another state for his job. I lost all my network of friends, quit my job to move, and became a housewife with a toddler and a baby.

My husband's career took off and he has become very successful due to his hard work, skill and support at home. We both have sacrificed family time for him to get ahead and become the successful man he is today. I'm so proud of him. His new job brought also spoils of overseas travel, first class tickets and a fun group of coworkers in fun locales without the worry of diapers, bills, tantrums etc. and all the normal day to day household things. So home life became "boring" as he started to travel more and see us less and less.

He changed completely, his priorities changed. I love him very much, and this is hard because he said that he hasn't been happy for years (not a coincidence the same amount of years that he has been travelling with his co-workers). Not suprisingly, he had an affair with a woman that he travelled with. My wonderful husband, the man that I love, it was very hard. He moved in with her for 4 months then came back home after realizing that that didn't make him happy either. It has been a hard couple of years dealing with recovering from the affair and mending our marriage. He refused counseling, I've gone on my own. I though we were good, were happy and then here we go again, he tells me he is not happy and has an appointment with a lawyer next week. I'm devastated.

He struggles from undiagnosed me talk health issues, he had depression as a teenager, and ptsd as an adult having home to war 4 times, his new job is very stressful which triggers him, so he is anxious and depressed and can't deal with normal day to day things at home. To top it off, his best friend travel buddy killed himself a few weeks a go, which triggered this situation. He says it would be easier if he didn't have to deal with other things other than his job, and that he wants us to be friends.

Sigh... I am in love with him, he is a good man and he suffers from mental health issues undiagnosed, doesn't want any help and his issues some makes everything at home seem bad when in reality it isn't. He says that he wants me to be happy and that he has not been a good husband and father, but throughout all of this all I can say is that I have incredible respect, love and care for him and our family, and that has not changed despite it all. We have everything we need to be happy and we both believe external circumstances brought us here, but nothing is wrong with us.

I feel that our marriage is worth saving. Making an appointment has only made me physically ill and sad. I feel anxious and can't sleep, I feel like am not myself, like I'm an annoyance that can't utter a compliment without sounding desperate, unsincere, pathetic, and stupid.

I don't know what to do anymore and I am tired. I don't want our family be torn apart. When we worked on our marriage we became happy again and it was the happiest he had even been in his life he said, then He seems decided on divorce, and he said I'm sad and this all makes me feel bad. It seems like life it's too much to bear for him. This stinks.