Dear petitpoisson,
I am so very, very sorry that this is happening to you. How utterly heartbreaking. I wish I knew what to say to help ease your distress and pain. Hopefully these Forums will prove helpful to you. Many years ago I was in a somewhat similar situation to what you describe and the pain of it was nearly beyond endurance. So my heart really goes out to you. I hope that somehow, someway . . . that things get better and go back to normal. So, so sorry!
Sincerely yours, Yao Wen