No need to feel guilty. You were struggling as Well and i am sure that you didn't mean to hurt him although it's unfortunate that he doesn't seem willing to Forgive you for what happened. Perhaps try to suggest couple counselling and talk to him about ALL of this and see how it goes from there? SEnding many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @petitpoisson, your Family, your FriEnds and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!